Monday, February 24, 2003

my laptop keeps farking stalling.

i feel lyk screwing ibm upside down and inside out.. oh weLL..

had a farking bad day.. so if u think u're going to be affected by this pLs stop reading NOW..

argh. the bad weather really didn't help things.

why is it that stuff always blows up in my face? i know i shd juz abide in the Word and let His love and peace and joy be in me always. but i'm not lyk some really fantastic ppl i know who can smile and smile and smile no matter wad shit has happened.. i try to be like this yet i fail lyk 80% to 90% of d time.

ok i admit tt i do say stuff w/o thinking sometimes.. but most if d time i do.. now at least. think tt's one thing tt has really changed abt me.. that compared to 2 yrs ago, i really think before i open my mouth. but its lyk sometimes it juz slips out.. and den before u know it, things blow up and u feel lyk shit for a long long while.. not knowing wad is going to happen. not knowing where anything is going. not knowing wad u urself are feeling. not knowing any-farking-thing..

ok basically i'm having a blardy farked up day. 1st, last nite after cg was bad. i felt sick. lyk really sick. den slept. den woke up feeling lyk shit. i regretted taking 2 and not 20 panadols before sleeping.

BUT i went to sch anyway, and felt better after d HY2207 lecture.. HY2207 rocks, would make a good number plate! haha.. den had french tutorial. den had lunch. den had js2224 lecture. its darn boring. resorted to 1st copying everything he flashed den transcribing everything he said so i wun fall asleep.. sigh.. i cannot sleep during lecture. i cannot skip lecture. not this sem!! not ever actually..


when i was having lunch, my mom called and asked me if i want to wear this pendent w the symbol of buddhism or wadeva... u know.. d swastika thing.. i think she's been looking out for a nice one since my parents saw me wearing a cross in 2002.. the cross tt went missing v shortly after..
so anyway, i toLd her no la.. den she went on to tell me its lyk how pretty and yada yada la. den she say if i'm not going to wear it she's not going to buy it. so i told her, its ok dun buy it coz i'm going to wear it. den she say "u wanna die ah! dun wanna wear this den wad? wear cross ah??" i was going to say yes, i wanna wear a cross, but not good idea. so i juz told her i'm not going to wear a chain. and yada yada. and she hung up. BUT lyk 5 sec later, she called again and asked am i sure i dun want it! and yada yada.. and i told her she v funny la. ask me if i want, den when i didnt give a "correct" answer, she cannot accept.. but anywayz, she eventually said ok she wun get it YET.. sigh.. but in d least when i came home she nv mention it la. sighz..

argh. this is getting to be a really long and unpleasant post. dun read it if wad i say dun please u. i juz need to get stuff off my chest. sighz.

i feel so misunderstood and misinterpreted sometimes.. and so.......... i dunnO la!!!!!!! argh. fuck.

trying to plough thru my readings now. history is still ok. but the js one can kill me. argh..

oh well.

i muz abide in the Word, and stand fast in faith. to hold on to His promises. to lay down everything into His hands. i am a God chick.. a princess.. a daughter of a King above all kings.. and no eviL can come near me.

listening to "You Said" by hiLLsongs ausTraLia.. ^_^